In Trouble

"In Trouble"*
*
I saw my coworker Jim Monday morning. I was
about to ask him how his weekend went when
I noticed his black eye. It was a real shiner.

"What the hell happened to you? Were you
mugged?" I asked.
 
"Worse" Jim said painfully. "Were you hit by a
car? What happened?"
 
"Suzie and I went to up to that bed and breakfast
in Mendocino this weekend. We met Liz and Kevin
there." he said.
 
"Well? How did you get that black eye? How did
you get those bruises on your arms? What about
that cut over your other eye? Were you in an auto
accident?" I said, interrupting his story.
 
"Well, Sunday morning we were seated at the table
with Liz and Kevin and a couple on their honeymoon.
We were all having breakfast together. "That
honeymoon couple looked at each other with love in
their eyes, when he turned to his new bride and asks
'Would you please pass the sugar, sugar'.
 
We all smiled and Suzie had that look, you know the
'isn't that romantic' look women get.
 
Then Kevin said to Liz 'please pass the honey, honey.'
 
Suzie gave a heavy sigh and looked at me. The last
thing I remember before waking up in the emergency
room was turning to Suzie and saying 'Please pass
the tea-bag'."

***********************************************

"Disappearing Wife"*
*
A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But, being
payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the
entire weekend partying with the boys and spending
his entire paycheck.
 
When He finally appeared at home, Sunday Night,
he was confronted by a very angry wife and was
barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting
his actions.
 
Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said
to him. "How would you like it if you didn't see me
for two or three days?"
 
To which he replied. "That would be fine with me."
 
Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday
and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough
where he could see her a little out of the corner of his
left eye.
Received on Mon Aug 11 06:39:29 2008