Polish Sausage

"Polish Sausage"

A guy asks for assistance.

"In what aisle could I find the Polish sausage?"

The clerk looks at him and says, "Are you Polish?"

The guy (clearly offended) says, "Well, yes I am.
But let me ask you something?"
"If I had asked for Italian sausage would you
ask me if I was Italian?"
Or, "If I asked for German bratwurst, would
you ask me if I was German?
Or, "If I asked for a kosher hot dog would
you ask me if I was Jewish?"
Or, "If I asked for a Taco would you ask me
if I was Mexican? Would you? Would you?"

The clerk says, "Well, no."

"If I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you
ask if I was Irish?"

"Well, I probably wouldn't."

With deep self-righteous indignation, the guy
says, "Well, then, why did you ask me if I'm
Polish because I asked for Polish sausage?"

The clerk says, "Er... because you're at Home Depot?"

*************************************************

"Polish Divorce"

A Polish man moved to the USA and married
an American girl. Although his English was far
from perfect, they got along very well until one
day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked
him if he could arrange a divorce for him -
"very quick."

The lawyer said that the speed for getting a
divorce would depend on the circumstances,
and asked him the following questions:

LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?"
POLLACK: "JA, JA, acre and half and nice little home."

LAWYER: "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
POLLACK: "It made of concrete."

LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"
POLLACK: "No, we have carport, and not need one."

LAWYER: "I mean, What are your relations like?"
POLLACK: "All my relations still in Poland."

LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
POLLACK: "Ja, we have hi- fidelity stereo set and good DVD player."

LAWYER: Does your wife beat you up?"
POLLACK: "No, I always up before her."

LAWYER: "WHY do you want this divorce?"
POLLACK: "She going to kill me."

LAWYER: "What makes you think that?"
POLLACK: "I got proof.

LAWYER: "What kind of proof?"

POLLACK: "She going to poison me. She buy a
bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom.
I can read, and it say, 'Polish Remover'."

( there now )
Received on Sat Sep 8 09:38:58 2007