Driving Tickets

"Missing in Action"

A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet
for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to
realize that he had lost his cigarettes. In the
middle the room, under the carpet, was a bump.

"No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack
smokes," he said to himself. He proceeded to t
ake his hammer and flatten the hump.

As he was cleaning up, the lady came in.

"Here," she said, handing him his pack of cigarettes.
"I found them in the hallway. Now," she said, "if only
I could find my sweet little hamster."

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"Driving Tickets"

An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns,
drove through a school zone within the legal
speed limit when the flash of a camera went off,
taking a picture of his license plate.

The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove
by again; even more slowly. Another flash. He did
it again for a third time, at an even slower speed.
Same result.

"This guy must have screwed up the settings,"
the off-duty officer thought.

A few weeks later, when he received the violations
in the mail, he discovered three traffic tickets: each
for not wearing a seat belt!
Received on Sun Oct 21 21:12:42 2007