Beware What You Write

"Tables Turned... Beware What You Write"

Just before I was to rise to give a talk once, the
gentleman who was to introduce me asked if he
might read from the correspondence that had been
exchanged prior to agreement on the terms under
which I would speak.

Without remembering the details of the correspondence,
I said genially, "Sure!"

It turned out that he read the letter in which the committee
offered me their usual honorarium which was just half my
minimum. He then read my answer in which I had
responded, with cheerful conceit (never dreaming it would
be made public): "Since I am at least twice as good as
the average speaker you will get, I want twice the fee you
offer. You will see that I'm worth the extra money when
I talk to your group."

Having read this, he sat down, and I was compelled
to stand up and face an audience that had just found
out it had paid over twice as much as usual and looked
as though I had *better* be twice as good as other
speakers or else!

Source: Isaac Asimov

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"Tae Kwon Do (and Don't!)"

A little guy was sitting in a bar, drinking his cold draft
and minding his own business when, without
provocation, a great big dude came in and *WHACK!*
knocks him clean off the bar stool and onto the floor.

Then big dude blurts out, "That was a karate chop from Korea!"

The little guy thinks to himself, "GEEZ," but all he does
is gets back up on the stool and starts drinking again.

All of a sudden - WHACK!! -- the big dude knocks
him down AGAIN and says, "That was a judo chop from Japan."

The little guy has had enough of this unruly martial
artist. He gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves the bar.

The little guy is gone for about 25 minutes. Then he
returns to the bar. Without saying a word, he walks
up behind the big dude and BONG! -- knocks the big
dude off his stool, knocking him out cold.

The little guy looks at the bartender and says, "When
he comes to, tell him 'that was a crowbar from Sears'."
Received on Tue Nov 27 08:18:35 2007