Insurance Sales Man

"Insurance Sales Man"

A man walks into an insurance office and asks for a job.

"We don't need anyone..." they replied.

"You can't afford not to hire me. I can sell anyone anytime
anything."

"We have two prospects that no one has been able to sell.
If you can sell just one, you have a job."

He was gone about two hours and returned and handed
them two checks, one for $25,000 and another for $50,000.

"How in the world did you do that?" they asked.

"I told you I'm the worlds best salesman, I can sell anyone
anywhere, anytime."

"Did you get a urine sample?" they asked him.

"What's that?" he asked.

"Well, if you sell a policy over $20,000 the company requires
a urine sample. Take these two bottles and go back and get
urine samples."

He was gone about 8 hours and they were about to close, when
in he walks in with two five gallon buckets, one in each hand.
He sets the buckets down and reaches in his shirt pocket and
produces two bottles of urine and sets them on the desk and
says, "Here's Mr. Brown's and this one is Mr. Smith's."

"That's good," they said, "but what's in those two buckets?"

"Well, I passed by the school house and they were having
a state teachers convention, so I stopped and sold them
a group policy!"

*******************************************************

"The Country Salesman"

A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at
a city department store. It was one of those massive
stores that has every department imaginable. In fact
it was the biggest store in the world --- you could get
anything there.

The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman
before?"

"Yes, I was a salesman in the country," said the lad.

The boss liked the cut of him and said, "You can start
tomorrow, Friday morning, and I'll come and see you
when we close up."

When the boss looked up the young man the next day
at closing time, he saw him shaking hands with a
beaming customer. After they parted, he walked over
and asked, "Well, that looked good! How many sales
did you make today?"

"That was the only one," said the young salesman.

"Only one!?!" blurted the boss. "Most of my staff make
20 or 30 sales a day. You'll have to do better than that!
Well, how much was the sale worth?"

"Two hundred twenty seven thousand, three hundred
thirty four dollars and change," said the young man.

The boss paused for a moment, blinking a few times.
"H... H... How did you manage that?!?"

"Well, when he came in this morning and I sold him
small fish hook. Then, I sold him a medium hook,
and then a really large hook. Then I sold him a small
fishing line, a medium one, and then a big one. I then
sold him a speargun, a wetsuit, scuba gear, nets, chum,
coolers, and a keg of beer.

I asked him where he was going fishing and he said
down the coast. We decided he would probably need
a new boat, so I took him down to the boat department
and sold him that twenty-foot schooner with the twin
engines.

Then, he said that his Volkswagon probably wouldn't
be able to pull it, so I took him to the car department
and sold him the new Deluxe Cruiser, with a winch,
storage rack, rustproofing, and a built-in refrigerator.
Oh, and floor mats."

The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment,
"You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook?!"

"Oh no," answered the salesman. "He came in to buy
a blanket."

"A blanket?!?"

"Yeah, an extra blanket for the couch. He just had
a fight with his wife. I said to him, 'Well, your
weekend's ruined, so you may as well go fishing'......."
Received on Mon May 21 07:51:59 2007