Diet Quiz

"The Hand Of G~d"

An overweight business associate of mine decided
it was time to shed some excess pounds. He took
his new diet seriously, even changing his driving
route to avoid his favorite bakery. One morning,
however, he arrived at work carrying a gigantic
coffeecake. We all scolded him, but his smile
remained cherubic.

"This is a very special coffeecake," he explained. "I
accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and
there in the window were a host of goodies. I felt
this was no accident, so I prayed, 'Lord, if you want
me to have one of those delicious coffeecakes, let
me have a parking place directly in front of the bakery.'

"And sure enough," he continued, "the eighth time
around the block, there it was!"

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"Diet Quiz"

If you answer "yes" to eight or more of these
questions, you may want to consider restricting
your future calorie intake.

* Has your neighborhood grocery store ever offered
to send for you with a limo?

* After ordering lunch at a fast-food drive-through
window, has it ever been delivered to your car on
a hand truck?

* Within the last month, have you burned out more
than two refrigerator bulbs?

* Do people often decide to follow you up on the
next elevator?

* Has your fork ever suddenly come up missing?

* Have you ever broken out in a cold sweat when
you realized you were more than a mile from the
nearest Taco Bell?

* Is there a restraining order against you from the
Association of All-You-Can-Eat Restaurants?

* On a recent Caribbean cruise, did the captain
order you to stay in the center of the ship?

* Do your picnics in the country involve renting
a U-Haul?

* Does the left side of your car seem to bottom
out a lot?

* Does your street always seem to have more
potholes than other streets?
Received on Fri Jan 12 05:27:49 2007