Things To Irritate The Sane

"Things To Irritate The Sane"

1) You have to mutilate a roll of toilet paper to get
it started.

2) Racing to pour the water in the top and get
the pot under it before the coffee starts coming out.

3) Forgetting to put the pot under the coffee maker.

4) Can't remember if you left the iron on.

5) Leave the car wash, drive 30 feet and meet
a flock of birds.

6) Running out of tape while recording your
favorite movie.

7) Driving behind a group of Hell's Angels and
your car horn gets stuck.

8) Trying to open those #@$(&% child-proof bottles.

9) Running out of gas in the lawn mower 10 feet
before you've finished.

10) Belching and tasting a hot dog you had yesterday.

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"Mike And Pat At The Wake"

Mike told Pat he was going to a wake, and Pat
offered to tag along.

On the way Pat suggested a nipper or two and
they both got well sloshed. As a result Mike
couldn't remember the address of the wake.

"Where is your friend's house?" Pat asked.

"I forget the number but I'm sure this is the street."

They had walked along for a few minutes when
Mike squinted at a house that he thought was it.
So they staggered in but the hall was dark. They
opened the door and discovered a living room,
which was also dark except for the faint glimmer
of candles sitting on the piano. They went down
in front of the piano, knelt and prayed.

Pat stopped long enough to look at the piano.

"Mike," he said, "I didn't know your friend, but he
sure had a fine set of teeth."
Received on Tue Feb 27 08:29:31 2007