Union Worker

"Ways To Recognize A Company Car"

1. They travel faster in all gears, especially reverse.

2. They accelerate at a phenomenal rate.

3. They enjoy a much shorter braking distance.

4. They can take bumps at twice the speed on private
cars

5. Oil, battery, tire pressures and fluid levels do not
need to be checked nearly so often.

6. They have a much tighter turning radius.

7. The floor is shaped like an ashtray.

8. They only burn the cheapest gas available.

9. They do not have to be garaged at night.

10. They can be driven up to 100 miles with the oil
warning light on.

11. They need cleaning less often, especially inside.

12. The suspension and trunk floor are reinforced to
allow concrete slabs and other heavy building materials
to be carried.

13. They are adapted to allow reverse to be engaged
while the car is still in forward motion.

14. The tire side walls are designed for bumping into
and over curbs.

15. Unusual and alarming engine noises are easily
eliminated by the adjustment of the radio volume control.

16. No security is need. They may be left anywhere,
unlocked, with the keys in the ignition.

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"Union Worker"

Two guys and a union worker were fishing on a
lake one day, when Jesus walked across the
water and joined them in the boat

When the three astonished men had settled
down enough to speak, the first guy asked humbly,
"Jesus, I've suffered from back pain ever since I
took shrapnel in the Iraq war... could you help me?"

"Of course, my son", Jesus said, and when he
touched the man's back, he felt relief for the first
time in years.

The second man, who wore very thick glasses and
had a hard time reading and driving, asked if Jesus
could do anything about his eyesight.

Jesus smiled, removed the man's glasses and
tossed them in the lake. When they hit the water,
the man's eyes cleared and he could see everything
distinctly.

When Jesus turned to heal the union worker, the
guy put his hands up and cried defensively, "Don't
touch me! I'm on long term disability."
Received on Sat Feb 17 07:49:03 2007