Dentures

"Eyesight"

The old man was a witness in a burglary trial.

The defense lawyer asks Sam, "Did you see my
client commit this burglary?"

"Yes," said Sam , "I saw him plainly take the goods."

The lawyer asks Sam again, "Sam, this happened
at night. Are you sure you saw my client commit
this crime?"

"Yes" says Sam, "I saw him do it."

Then the lawyer asks Sam, "Sam listen, you are
80 years old and your eyesight probably is bad.
Just how far can you see at night?"

Sam says, "I can see the moon. How far is that?"

*****************************************

"Dentures"

A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his
engagement that when he arrived and sat down
at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had
forgotten his dentures.

Turning to the man next to him he said, "I forgot my
teeth."

The man said, "No problem."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of
dentures. "Try these," he said.

The speaker tried them. "Too loose," he said.

The man then said, "I have another pair - try these."

The speaker tried them and responded, "Too tight."

The man was not taken back at all.

He then said, "I have one more pair. Try them."

The speaker said, "They fit perfectly."

With that he ate his meal and gave his speech.
After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker
went over to thank the man who had helped him.

"I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is
your office? I've been looking for a good dentist."

The man replied, "I'm not a dentist. I'm an undertaker."
Received on Fri Feb 2 06:33:11 2007