Cooking Turkey

"Cooking Turkey"

A new young bride calls her mother in tears. She
sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him."

"Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it
was all just a misunderstanding."

"No, mother," the young woman laments. "I bought
a frozen turkey loaf and he yelled at me about the price."

"Well, that is being miserly," the mother agreed,
"Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars."

"No, mother it wasn't the price of the turkey roll,
it was the airplane ticket."

"Airplane ticket.... What did you need an airplane ticket for?"

"Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the
directions on the back and it said, 'PREPARE
FROM A FROZEN STATE,' so I flew to Alaska."

***********************************************

"Susie Paints Her Kitchen"

It was a hot and humid July afternoon, when
I decided to visit my girlfriend, Susie. Susie may
be blonde and beautiful, but sometimes she is,
shall we say, lacking in other areas.

Well, Susie had decided her kitchen needed
painting, and instead of hiring a professional,
she decided to do it herself. I thought she might
appreciate a break and brought over some cold
Pepsi and some sandwiches.

When I arrived, I found Susie working hard painting
the kitchen walls. But instead of wearing old clothes,
she was wearing her fur coat and her ski parka.

I asked her why she was dressed that way on such
a hot day. She brought me the paint bucket and
told me to read the instructions. I did. It said,

"For best results, put on two coats."
Received on Sun Dec 2 01:44:16 2007