The Joy of Being Retired

"Dental Appointment"

I was sitting in the waiting room for my first
appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his
DDS diploma, which bore his full name.

Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome,
dark-haired boy with the same name had been in
my high school class some 40-odd years ago.

Could he be the same guy that I had a secret
crush on, way back then?

Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any
such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with
the deeply lined face was way too old to have been
my classmate. Hmmm.........or could he???

After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had
attended Morgan Park High School .

"Yes. Yes, I did. I had a Mustang." He gleamed with pride.

"When did you graduate?" I asked.

He answered, "In 1956. Why do you ask?"

"You were in my class!" I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely.

Then, that ugly, old, wrinkled SOB asked,

"What did you teach?"

*****************************************************

"The Joy of Being Retired"

Working people frequently ask retired people what
they do to make their days interesting. Well, for
example, the other day I went downtown and went
into a shop. I was only in there for about 5 minutes
and when I came out there was a cop writing out
a parking ticket

I went up to him and said, "Come on, man, how
about giving a retired person a break"?

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.
I called him a "Nazi."

He glared at me and started writing another ticket
for having worn tires.

So I called him a "doughnut eating Gestapo."

He finished the second ticket and put it on the
windshield with the first. Then he started writing
a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes.

The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, I didn't care. I came downtown on the bus
and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a
bumper sticker that said "Sam Brownback in '08." **

I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired.
It's important to my health.

** If you prefer, substitute Sam Brownback with
Hillary Clinton or any of your other 'favorite' candidate.
Received on Sat Aug 18 01:27:18 2007