Advice For The Ladies

"Advice For The Ladies"

If you want someone willing to make a fool
of himself simply over the joy of seeing you
...buy a dog.

If you want someone who will eat whatever
you put in front of him and never says its not
quite as good as his mother made it
...buy a dog.

If you want someone always willing to go out,
at any hour, for as long and wherever you want
...buy a dog.

If you want someone to scare away burglars, without
a lethal weapon which terrifies you and endangers
the lives of your family and all the neighbors
...buy a dog.

If you want someone who will never touch the remote,
doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you
and watch a romantic movie
...buy a dog.

If you want someone who is content to get up on your
bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores
...buy a dog.

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do,
doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young
or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially
worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually
...buy a dog.

But on the other hand --

If you want someone who will never come when you call,
Ignores you totally when you come home,
Leaves hair all over the place,
Walks all over you,
Runs around all night,
Only comes home to eat and sleep, and
acts as if your entire existence is solely to
ensure his happiness...

Then, my friend . . . BUY A CAT!

Disclaimer: Any resemblance to a man is purely coincidental.
Received on Sat Aug 11 09:28:37 2007