New Diet

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"New Diet"

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for Lola
and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked
if I had a dog........ Duh! I was feeling a bit crabby so on
impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet
again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended
up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds
before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes
coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

Her eyes about bugged out of her head. I went on and
on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying
it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and
that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse
with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every
time you feel hungry. The package said the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the
line was by now enthralled with my story,particularly a
tall guy behind her. Horrified, she asked if something in
the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended
up in the hospital. I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street
licking my butt when a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried
out the door.
Received on Mon Apr 2 01:13:03 2007