Engineer in Hell

"Engineer in Hell"

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates.
St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're
an engineer -- you're in the wrong place."

So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is
let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied
with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing
and building improvements. After a while, they've
got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators,
and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day G~d calls Satan up on the telephone and
says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there
in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've
got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators,
and there's no telling what this engineer is going to
come up with next."

G~d replies, "What??? You've got an engineer?
That's a mistake--he should never have gotten
down there; send him up here."

Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer
on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

G~d says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah,
right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"

**************************************************

"Golf After Death"

Michael was an extremely avid golfer with a cynical
attitude and arrogance, that when he passed away,
few people shed a tear. Michael approached the
Pearly Gates where St. Peter was waiting for him.
Rather than pass through the gates as normal
people had done, Michael stopped to ask a question.

"Before I agree to come in, I want to know exactly
what kind of golf course you have here," he said
to St. Peter.

"That shouldn't matter to you." said St. Peter.

"But it does!" And then in his arrogant manner
exclaimed, "Well if I can't see it, then I'm not coming
in!"

"Very well, Michael. As you wish...look through the
gates."

He looked and saw the poorest, most rundown,
excuse for a golf course that it made him sick to
his stomach.

"Forget it! There is no way I'm going to spend
eternity playing on that course!"

Just then, Michael heard the Devil calling him
over the gate.

"Come over here and see what I have to offer."

Michael peers through the gate and he is elated!
There is the most absolutely fabulous golf course
he has ever seen!

He turns to the Devil and says,
"Yeah....I want to play THAT course!"

"Ok. Step on through and it's yours forever."

St. Peter pleaded with Michael as he headed off
with the Devil and the gates closed behind him.
Michael walked up to the first tee and said,
"I can't wait to play! Where are my clubs and ball?

The Devil roared with laughter. "Oh that........
There aren't any."
Received on Thu Oct 19 00:27:55 2006