Men ~Vs~ Women

"Men ~Vs~ Women"

NICKNAMES If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose
go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura,
Suzanne, Debra and Rose. But if Mike, Charlie,
Bob and John go out for a night, they will affectionately
refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head
and Useless.

EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie,
Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though
it's only for $22.50. None of them will have anything
smaller, and none will actually admit they want
change back. When the girls get their bill, out come
the pocket calculators.

MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A
woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

BATHROOMS A man has six items in his bathroom:
  a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap,
and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number
of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A
man would not be able to identify most of these items.

ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any
argument. Anything a man says after that is the
beginning of a new argument.

CATS Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but
when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE A woman worries about the future until
she gets a husband. A man never worries about the
future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS A successful man is one who makes
more money than his wife can spend. A successful
woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will
change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman
expecting that she won't change and she does.

DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping,
water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone,
read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up for
weddings and funerals.

NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they
went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during
the night.

OFFSPRING Ah, children. A woman knows all about
her children. She knows about dentist appointments
and romances, best friends and favorite foods and
secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely
aware of some short people living in the house.
Received on Tue Oct 17 16:32:37 2006