Little Johnny in a Bank

"Little Johnny in a Bank"

Little Johnny's mother took him with her to the bank on a
busy Friday. They were in line behind a rather obese
lady wearing a business suit, complete with a pager. As
the mother patiently waited, Little Johnny looked at the
women in front of him and observed loudly, "Hey, Mom,
she's REALLY FAT."

The lady looked at Johnny, made eye contact with his
mother and gave an understanding smile. Little Johnny
received a quiet reprimand.

After a minute or two, Little Johnny spread his hands
as far as they will go and loudly said, "I bet her butt is
*that* wide."

At this the lady glared at Johnny. His embarrassed
mother severely scolds her son.

Again after a couple of minutes Little Johnny stated
loudly, "Look how the fat hangs over her belt." The
lady turned and told Johnny's mother to control her
rude child and his mother threatened him with his
very life and existence.

Things in the bank are quiet. The lady moved to the
front of the line when her pager begins to emit its
distinctive tone.

Little Johnny yelled in a panic at the top of his voice,
"RUN FOR YOUR LIFE MOM, SHE'S BACKING UP!!!!"

**************************************************

"Seeing is Believing"

In a certain suburban neighborhood, there were two
brothers, 8 and 10 years old, who were exceedingly
mischievous. Whatever went wrong in the neighborhood,
it turned out they had had a hand in it. Their parents
were at their wits' end trying to control them. Hearing
about a priest nearby who worked with delinquent boys,
the mother suggested to the father that they ask the
priest to talk with the boys. The father replied,
"Sure, do that before I kill them!"

The mother went to the priest and made her request. He
agreed, but said he wanted to see the younger boy first
and alone. So the mother sent him to the priest.

The priest sat the boy down across a huge, impressive
desk he sat behind. For about five minutes they just
sat and stared at each other. Finally, the priest
pointed his forefinger at the boy and asked, "Where is
G~d?"

The boy looked under the desk, in the corners of the
room, all around, but said nothing.

Again, louder, the priest pointed at the boy and asked,
"Where is G~d?"

Again the boy looked all around but said nothing. A
third time, in a louder, firmer voice, the priest
leaned far across the desk and put his forefinger
almost to the boy's nose, and asked, "Where is G~d?"

The boy panicked and ran all the way home. Finding his
older brother, he dragged him upstairs to their room
and into the closet, where they usually plotted their
mischief. He finally said, "We are in BIIIIG trouble."

The older boy asked, "What do you mean, BIIIIG
trouble?"

His brother replied, "G~d is missing and they think
we did it."
Received on Wed Nov 15 07:50:34 2006