What's Your Business Sign?

"What's Your Business Sign?"

1) MARKETING You are ambitious yet stupid.
You chose a marketing degree to avoid having
to study in college, concentrating instead on
drinking and socializing which is pretty much
what your job responsibilities are now. Least
compatible with Sales.

2) SALES Laziest of all signs, often referred to
as "marketing without a degree." You are also
self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone
calls you and begs you to take their money, you
like to avoid contact with customers so you can
"concentrate on the big picture." You seek
admiration for your golf game throughout your life.

3) TECHNOLOGY Unable to control anything in
your personal life, you are instead content to
completely control everything that happens at your
workplace. Often even YOU don't understand
what you are saying but who the hell can tell.
It is written that Geeks shall inherit the Earth.

4) ENGINEERING One of only two signs that
actually studied in school. It is said that engineers
place ninety percent of all Personal Ads. You can
be happy with yourself; your office is full of all the
latest "ergodynamic" gadgets. However, we all
know what is really causing your "carpal tunnel
syndrome."

5) ACCOUNTING The only other sign that studied
in school. You are mostly immune from office
politics. You are the most feared person in the
organization; combined with your extreme
organizational traits, the majority of rumors
concerning you say that you are completely insane.

6) HUMAN RESOURCES Ironically, given your
access to confidential information, you tend to
be the biggest gossip within the organization.
Possibly the only other person that does less
work than marketing, you are unable to return
any calls today because you have to get a haircut,
have lunch AND then mail a letter.

7) MANAGEMENT/MIDDLE MANAGEMENT Catty,
cutthroat, yet completely spineless, you are destined
to remain at your current job for the rest of your life.
Unable to make a single decision you tend to
measure your worth by the number of meetings
you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry
other "Middle Managers" as everyone in your
social circle is a "Middle Manager."

8) SENIOR MANAGEMENT (See above - Same
sign, different title)

9) CUSTOMER SERVICE Bright, cheery, positive,
you are a fifty-cent cab ride from taking your own
life. As children very few of you asked your parents
for a little cubicle for your room and a headset so
you could pretend to play "Customer Service."
Continually passed over for promotions, your
best bet is to sleep with your manager. Or finish
that damn two-year degree...

10) CONSULTANT Lacking any specific knowledge,
you use acronyms to avoid revealing your utter lack
of experience. You have convinced yourself that your
"skills" are in demand and that you could get a higher
paying job with any other organization in a heartbeat.
You will spend an eternity contemplating these
career opportunities without ever taking direct action.

11) RECRUITER, "HEADHUNTER" As a "person"
that profits from the success of others, most people
who actually work for a living disdain you. Paid on
commission and susceptible to alcoholism, your
ulcers and frequent heart attacks correspond
directly with fluctuations in the stock market.

12) PARTNER, PRESIDENT, CEO You are brilliant
or lucky. Your inability to figure out complex systems
such as the fax machine suggest the latter.

13) GOVERNMENT WORKER Paid to take days off.
Government workers are genius inventors, like the
invention of new Holidays. They usually suffer from
deep depression or anxiety and usually commit
serious crimes while on the job...Thus the term
"GO POSTAL."
Received on Wed May 24 07:46:37 2006