The Mommy Test

"Tickets"

A couple with three children waited in line
at San Francisco's Pier 41to purchase
tickets for a boat trip to Alcatraz. Others
watched with varying degrees of sympathy
and irritation as the young children fidgeted,
whined, and punched one another.

The frazzled parents reprimanded them
to no avail. Finally, they reached the ticket
window.

"Five tickets, please," the father said.
"Two round trip, three one way."

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"Five Kids"

A friend of mine had five kids.

When the youngest finally turned 16,
and was the last one left at home,
my friend posted a sign on the kid's
bedroom door:

"Check-out time is 18."

*********************************************

"The Mommy Test"

I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter.
She picked up something off the ground and
started to put it in her mouth. I took the item
away from her and I asked her not to do that.

"Why?" my daughter asked.

"Because it's been laying outside, you don't
know where it's been, it's dirty and probably
has germs." I replied.

At this point, my daughter looked at me with
total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do
you know all this stuff?"

"Uh," ...I was thinking quickly, "All Moms know
this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have
to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."

We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes,
but she was evidently pondering this new
information.

"OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't
pass the test, you have to be the Daddy."

"Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my
face and joy in my heart.
Received on Sun May 14 07:17:57 2006