Newspaper Headlines in the Year 2035

"Newspaper Headlines in the Year 2035"

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars
can now be imported legally but President
Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

Spotted Owl plague threatens Western
North America crops & livestock.

George Z. Bush says he will run for
President in 2036.

35 year study: diet and exercise is the key
to weight loss. A follow up study will be
launched to validate the results.

Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at
Sotheby's for $4.6 million.

Ozone created by electric cars now killing
thousands in Los Angeles.

Average height of NBA players now nine
feet seven inches.

New California law requires that all nail
clippers, screwdrivers, and baseball bats
be registered by January 2036.

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"Inner Peace"

I am passing this on to you because it has
definitely worked for me.

By following the simple advice I read in
an article, I have finally found inner peace.

It reads: "The way to achieve inner peace
is to finish all the things you've started."

I looked around to see all the things I
started and hadn't finished.

So, today I have finished one bottle of white
wine, a bottle of red wine, a bottle of gin,
my Prozac, a large box of chocolates and
a quart of beer.

You have no idea how good I feel.

You may passh thish on to those ou feel
are in need of Inner Peach.
Received on Thu Mar 23 04:57:09 2006