Rules Kids Won't Learn At School {Insp}

"Rules Kids Won't Learn At School"

Unfortunately there are some things that children
should be learning in school, but don't. Not all
of them have to do with academics. As a modest-
back-to-school offering, here are some basic
rules that may not have found their way into the
standard curriculum.

Rule #1. Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average
teenager uses the phrase "it's not fair" 8.6 times
a day. You got it from your parents, who said it so
often, you decided they must be the most idealistic
generation ever. When they started hearing it from
their own kids, they realized Rule #1.

Rule #2. The real world won't care as much about
your self-esteem as your school does. It'll expect
you to accomplish something before you feel good
about yourself. This may come as a shock. Usually,
when inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids
complain that it's not fair. (See Rule No. 1)

Rule #3. Sorry, you won't make $40,000 a year
right out of high school. And you won't be a vice
president or have a car phone either. You may
even have to wear a uniform that doesn't have
a Gap label.

Rule #4. If you think your teacher is tough, wait
'till you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure, so
he tends to be a bit edgier. When you mess up,
he is not going ask you how feel about it.

Rule #5. Flipping burgers is not beneath your
dignity. Your grandparents had a different word
for burger flipping. They called it opportunity.
They weren't embarrassed making minimum
wage either. They would have been embarrassed
to sit around talking about Kurt Cobain all weekend.

Rule #6. It's not your parents fault. If you screw up,
you are responsible. This is the flip side of "It's my
life," and "You're not the boss of me," and other
eloquent proclamations of your generation. When
you turn 18, it's on your dime. Don't whine about it
or you'll sound like a baby boomer.

Rule #7. Before you were born your parents weren't
as boring as they are now. They got that way paying
your bills, cleaning up your room and listening to
you tell them how idealistic you are. And by the way,
before you save the rain forest from the blood-
sucking parasites of your parents' generation try
delousing the closet in your bedroom.

Rule #8. Life is not divided into semesters, and
you don't get summers off. Nor even Easter break.
They expect you to show up every day. For eight
hours. And you don't get a new lease on life every
10 weeks. It just goes on and on.

Rule #9. Television is not real life. Your life is not
a sitcom, nor a soap opera. Your problems will
not all be solved in 30 minutes, minus time for
commercials. In real life, people actually have to
leave the coffee shop to go to jobs. Your friends
will not be perky or as polite as Jennifer Aniston.

Rule #10. Be nice to nerds. You may end up
working for them. We all could.

Rule #11. Enjoy this while you can. Sure, parents
are a pain, school's a bother, and life is depressing.
But someday you'll realize how wonderful it was
to be kid. Maybe you should start now.
Received on Sun Mar 19 01:32:45 2006