Hard Question

"Poor Pastor"

The poor country pastor was livid when he
confronted his wife with the receipt for a
$250 dress she had bought. "How could
you do this!" he exclaimed.

"I don't know," she wailed, "I was standing
in the store looking at the dress. Then I
found myself trying it on. It was like the
Devil was whispering to me, 'Gee, you
look great in that dress. You should buy it.'"

"Well," the pastor persisted, "You know how
to deal with him! Just tell him, "Get behind
me, Satan!"

"I did," replied his wife, "but then he said,
"It looks great from back here, too!"

*****************************************

"Hard Question"

A pastor was giving the children's message
during church. For this part of the service, he
would gather all the children around him and
give a brief lesson before dismissing them
for children's church.

On this particular Sunday, he was using
squirrels for an object lesson on industry
and preparation. He started out by saying,
"I'm going to describe something, and I want
you to raise your hand when you know what
it is." The children nodded eagerly.

"This thing lives in trees (pause) and eats
nuts (pause)..." No hands went up. "And it is
gray (pause) and has a long bushy tail (pause) . . . "

The children were looking at each other, but
still no hands raised. "And it jumps from branch
to branch (pause) and chatters and flips its tail
when it's excited (pause) . . . "

Finally one little boy tentatively raised his hand.
The pastor breathed a sigh of relief and called
on him. "Well," said the boy, "I KNOW the answer
must be Jesus -- but it sure sounds like a
squirrel to me!"
Received on Sun Mar 12 08:03:32 2006