Thirty Lines To Yield Smiles

"Thirty Lines To Yield Smiles"

1. My husband and I divorced over religious
differences. He thought he was G~d and I
didn't!

2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every
minute of it!

3. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare
Depend on Me!

4. Some people are alive only because it's
illegal to kill them.

5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

6. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets
out alive.

7. You're just jealous because the voices only
talk to me.

8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

10. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are
missing.

11. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-
the-room-spinning medicine.

13. G~d must love stupid people; He made so
many.

14. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

15. Consciousness: That annoying time between
naps.

16. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

17. Being "over the hill" is much better than
being under it!

18. Wrinkled was not one of the things I
wanted to be when I grew up.

19. Procrastinate Now!

20. I have a degree in liberal arts; now, do
you want fries with that order?

21. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

22. A journey of a thousand miles begins
with a cash advance.

23. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park
elsewhere!

24. They call it PMS because MadCow
Disease was already taken.

25. He who dies with the most toys is
nonetheless dead.

26. A picture is worth a thousand words, but
it uses up three thousand times the memory.

27. Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken,
a lifetime commitment for a pig.

28. The trouble with life is there's no background
music.

29. The original point and click interface was
a Smith and Wesson.

30. I smile because I don't know what the heck
is going on!!!
Received on Sat Jun 24 07:28:07 2006