5 Stages Of Drunkenness

"5 Stages Of Drunkenness"

Stage 1 - SMART This is when you suddenly
become an expert on every subject in the
known Universe. You know you know everything
and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone
who will listen. At this stage you are always
RIGHT. And of course the person you are
talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an
interesting argument when both parties are
SMART.

Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING This is when you
realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person
in the entire bar and that people fancy you.
You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing
they fancy you and really want to talk to you.
Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you
can talk to this person about any subject under
the sun.

Stage 3 - RICH This is when you suddenly become
the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks
for the entire bar because you have an armored
truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can
also make bets at this stage, because of course,
you are still SMART, so naturally you win all your
bets. It doesn't matter how much you bet 'cos you
are RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone
that you fancy, because now you are the BEST
LOOKING person in the world.

Stage 4 - BULLET PROOF You are now ready to
pick fights with anyone and everyone especially
those with whom you have been betting or
arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you.
At this point you can also go up to the partners
of the people who you fancy and challenge to a
battle of wits or money. You have no fear of
losing this battle because you are SMART, you
are RICH and hell, you're BETTER LOOKING
than they are anyway!

Stage 5 - INVISIBLE This is the Final Stage of
Drunkenness. At this point you can do anything
because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance
on a table to impress the people who you fancy
because the rest of the people in the room
cannot see you. You are also invisible to the
person who wants to fight you. You can walk
through the street singing at the top of your
lungs because no one can see or hear you
and because you're still SMART you know all
the words.
Received on Sat Jun 10 07:55:20 2006