Total Quality Management

"Dilemma Solved"

G~d is talking to one of his angels.

He says, "Boy, I just created a 24-hour
period of alternating light and darkness
on Earth."

The angel says, "What are you going
to do now?"

G~d says, "Call it a day."

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"Total Quality Management"

G~d's Total Quality Management Questionnaire

G~d would like to thank you for your belief
and patronage. In order to better serve your
needs, He asks that you take a few moments
to answer the following questions.

Please keep in mind that your responses
will be kept completely confidential, and
that you need not disclose your name or
address unless you prefer a direct response
to comments or suggestions.

1. How did you find out about G~d?

__ Newspaper

__ Television

__ Word of mouth

__ Torah

__ Bible

__ Koran

__ Other Book

__ Divine Inspiration

__ Near Death Experience

__ Friend or Relative

__ Other: ____________

2. Are you currently using any other source
of inspiration in addition to G~d? Please
check all that apply.

__ Tarot

__ Horoscope

__ Fortune cookies

__ Self-help books

__ Biorhythm

__ Mantras

__ Insurance policies

__ Lottery

__ Television

__ Dear Abby

__ Sex

__ Alcohol or drugs

__ Other: ____________

__ None

3. G~d employs a limited degree of Divine
Intervention to preserve the balanced level
of felt presence and blind faith. Which
would you prefer (circle one)?

a. More Divine Intervention

b. Less Divine Intervention

c. Current level of Divine Intervention is
just right

d. Don't know

4. G~d also attempts to maintain a
balanced level of disasters and miracles.
Please rate on a scale of 1 - 5 his handling
of the following (1=unsatisfactory, 5=excellent):

a. Disasters (flood, famine, earthquake, war)

1 2 3 4 5

b. Miracles (rescues, spontaneous
remission of disease, sports upsets)

1 2 3 4 5

5. Do you have any additional comments
or suggestions for improving the quality of
G~d's services?

(Attach an additional sheet if necessary):
Received on Sat Jul 15 01:26:52 2006