Navy Retirement

"Navy Retirement"

The Navy found they had too many officers
and decided to offer an early retirement bonus.

They promised any officer who volunteered
for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch
measured in a straight line between any two
points in his body.

The officer got to choose what those two
points would be.

The first officer who accepted, asked that he
be measured from the top of his head to the
tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet
and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little
smarter and asked to be measured from the
tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He
walked out with $96,000.

The third one, a non-commissioned officer,
was grizzly old Chief who, when asked where
he would like to be measured replied, "From
the tip of my weenie to my testicles."

It was suggested by the pension man that he
might want to reconsider, explaining about the
nice big checks the previous two officers had
received. But the old Chief insisted and they
decided to go along with him, providing the
measurement was taken by a medical officer.

The medical officer arrived and instructed the
Chief to "drop 'em," which he did.

The medical officer placed the tape measure
on the tip of the Chief's weenie and began to
work back.

"My G~d!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where
are your testicles?"

The old Chief calmly replied . . . . . "Vietnam."
Received on Wed Feb 1 04:48:42 2006