Christmas Carols For The Psychiatrically Challenged

"Jim and Edna"

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.
One day while they were walking past the hospital
swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep
end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed
there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam
to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

When the Director of Nursing became aware of Edna's
heroic act, she immediately ordered her to be discharged
from the hospital, as she now considered her to be
mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna,
I have good news and bad news. The good news is
you're being discharged; since you were able to
rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and
saving the life of another patient, I have concluded
that your act displays sound minded-ness.

The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung
himself in his bathroom with the belt of his robe right
after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

Edna replied; "He didn't hang himself; I put him there
to dry. How soon can I go home?"

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"Christmas Carols For The Psychiatrically Challenged"

SCHIZOPHRENIA: "Do you hear what I hear?"

MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: "We three
kings are all the same person!

DEMENTIA: "I think I'll be home for Christmas."

NARCISSISTIC: "Hark the herald angels sing about me."

MANIC: "Deck the halls and walls and house and lawn
and streets and stores and office and town and cars
and buses and trucks and trees and fire hydrants and ..."

PARANOID: "Santa Claus is coming to get me."

PERSONALITY DISORDER: "You better watch out, I'm
gonna cry, I'm gonna pout, maybe I'll tell you why."

DEPRESSION: "Silent night, holy night--all is hectic,
all is dark."

OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE: "Jingle bell, jingle bell,
jingle bell rock, jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock,
jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock, jingle bell, jingle
bell, jingle bell rock, .."

PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE: "On the first day of Christmas
my true love gave to me... (and then took it all away.)"
Received on Wed Dec 20 02:16:23 2006