Secret Landing

"Signs You've Chosen A 'No Frills' Airline"

They don't sell tickets, they sell chances.

All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold
out.

Before the flight, the passengers get together and
elect a pilot.

You cannot board the plane unless you have the exact
change.

Before you took off, the stewardess tells you to fasten
your Velcro.

The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little
for gas.

When they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking.

The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows
off the runway.

You ask the Captain how often his planes crash and he
says, "Just once."

No movie. Don't need one. Your life keeps flashing
before your eyes.

You see a man with a gun, but he's demanding to be let
off the plane.

All the planes have both a bathroom and a chapel.

*******************************************

"Secret Landing"

You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security,
super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as
"Area 51?"

Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51
were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at
their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the
aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation
room.

The pilot's story was that he took off from Vegas, got
lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run
out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background
check on the pilot and held him overnight during the
investigation.

By the next day, they were finally convinced that the
pilot really was lost and wasn't a spy. They gassed up
his airplane, gave him a terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-
base" briefing, complete with threats of spending the
rest of his life in prison, told him Vegas was that-a-
way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his
way.

The next day, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the
same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MPs
surrounded the plane... only this time there were two
people in the plane.

The same pilot jumped out and said, "Do anything you
want to me, but my wife is in the plane and you have to
tell her where I was last night!"
Received on Sun Dec 17 23:13:07 2006