Why G~d Never Received A Ph.D.

"The Haircut"

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He
asked his father, who was a minister, if they could
discuss the use of the car. His father took him to his
study and said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You
bring your grades up, study your bible a little and get
your hair cut and we'll talk about it."

After about a month the boy came back and again asked
his father if they could discuss use of the car. They
again went to the father's study where his father said,
"Son, I've been real proud of you. You have brought
your grades up, you've studied your bible diligently,
but you didn't get your hair cut!"

The young man waited a moment and replied, "You know
Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know, Samson
had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair,
and even Jesus had long hair...."

To which his father replied... "Yes, and they WALKED
every where they went!"

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"Why G~d Never Received A PhD"

1. He had only one major publication.

2. It was in Hebrew. (I.e. not in English)

3. It had no references.

4. It wasn't published in a refereed journal.

5. Some even doubt He wrote it by himself.

6. It may be true that He created the world, but
what has He done since then?

7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.

8. The scientific community has had a hard time
replicating His results.

9. He never applied to the ethics board for permission
to use human subjects.

10. When one experiment went awry He tried to cover
it by drowning His subjects.

11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, He
deleted them from the sample.

12. He rarely came to class, just told students to
read the book.

13. Some say He had his son teach the class.

14. He expelled His first two students for learning.

15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most
of His students failed His tests.

16. His office hours were infrequent and usually
held on a mountain top.

17. No record of working well with colleagues.
Received on Sun Dec 17 03:56:34 2006