Of Idiots and Injuries

"Late for Work"

A Police Officer Pulls over a speeder and walks
up to the driver.

The driver says "I'm late for work Officer, I'm sorry
I was speeding"

The cop says, "Late for work are you ... well, I'll
write you a late note."

*******************************************

"Of Idiots and Injuries"

An insurance company asked for more information
regarding a work-related accident claim. This was
the response:

"I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident.
I am an amateur radio operator and was working on
the top section of my new 80 foot tower. When I had
completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the
course of several trips up the tower, brought up about
300 pounds of tools and spare hardware.

Rather than carry the materials down by hand, I decided
to lower the items using a pulley. Securing the rope at
ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the
tools into a small barrel. Then I went back to the ground
and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow
descent of the 300 pounds of tools. You will note in block
number 11 of the accident report that I weigh 155 pounds.

Due to my surprise of being lifted off the ground so suddenly,
I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. I
proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the
tower. In the vicinity of the 40 foot level, I met the barrel
coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken
collarbone.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not
stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles
deep into the pulley. I regained my presence of mind and
was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain. At the
same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and
the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the
tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I
refer you again to my weight in block number 11.

As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the
side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40 foot level, I met
the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured
ankles, and the lacerations of my legs and lower body.

The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen
my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools so only three
vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that
as I lay on the tools, in pain, unable to stand and watching
the empty barrel 80 feet above me, I again lost my presence
of mind and let go of the rope..."
Received on Fri Sep 16 06:12:57 2005