Amazing Longevity

"Amazing Longevity"

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking
in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing
how happy you look," she said. "What's your
secret for a long happy life?"

"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said.
"I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty
foods, and never exercise."

"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are
you?'"

"Twenty-six!" he said.

***********************************

"Recovery"

"The doctor said he would have me on
my feet in two weeks."

"Was he successful?"

"Yup, I had to sell my car to pay his bill."

***********************************

"Waking Up"

A lawyer awoke in a hospital bed after a
complicated operation, and found that the
curtains were drawn around him.

"Why are the curtains closed?" he asked.
"Is it night?"

A nurse replied, "No, it is just that there is
a fire across the street, and we didn't want
you waking up and thinking that the operation
was unsuccessful."
Received on Sat Nov 12 09:09:32 2005