Navigator

"Lost"

Steve took his new wife camping for the first time.
At every opportunity, he passed along outdoor-
survival lore.

One day they got lost hiking in the deep woods.
Steve tried the usual tactics to determine direction;
moss on the trees (there was no moss),
the direction of the sun (it was an overcast day).

Just as his wife was beginning to panic, Steve
spotted a small cabin off in the distance. He pulled
out his binoculars, studied the cabin, then turned
and led his wife right back to their camp.

"That was terrific," she said, impressed. "How
did you do it?"

"Simple," he replied. "In this part of the country,
all TV satellite dishes point south."

*****************************************

"Navigator"

The scene is sometime in the old era when
cockpits had round dials plus flight engineers
and navigators. The crusty old-timer captain is
breaking in a brand new navigator.

The captain opens his briefcase, pulls out a .38
and rests it on the glare panel. He asks the
navigator, "Know what this is for?"

"No, sir," replies the newbie.

"I use it on navigators that get us lost," explains
the captain, winking at his first officer.

The navigator then opens his briefcase, pulls
out a .45 an sets it on his chart table.

"What's THAT for?" queries the surprised captain.

"Well, sir," replies the navigator, "I'll know we're lost
before you will."
Received on Tue May 24 06:19:09 2005