Talk is Cheap

"Quickies"

When politicians get the flu, you never know
which way they're going to vote.
Sometimes the eyes have it, and sometimes
the nose.

If you speak three languages, you're trilingual.
If you speak two languages, you're bilingual.
If you speak one language, you're American.

At the grocery store, the clerk surprised me
by asking not, "Paper or plastic?" but,
"Do you want to kill a tree or destroy the
environment?"

Why are we worried about terrorists?
If they wait long enough, the FDA and the drug
companies will kill us all.

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"Talk is Cheap"

A New Yorker was forced to take a day off from
work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He
grew increasingly restless as he waited hour
after endless hour for his case to be heard.

When his name was called late in the afternoon,
he stood before the judge, only to hear that court
would be adjourned for the rest of the afternoon
and he would have to return the next day.

"What for?!?!?" he snapped at the judge.

His honor, equally irked by a tedious day and
sharp query, roared out loud: "Twenty dollars
contempt of court! That's why!"

Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the
judge relented: "That's all right. You don't have
to pay now."

The young man replied, "I know. But I'm just seeing
if I have enough for two more words."
Received on Mon May 9 08:35:10 2005