Ssaay It Aainn't Ssooo!

"Good Advice - Rules for Inner Peace"

I am passing this on because it definitely worked
for me, and we all could use more calm in our lives.
By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil
show, I have finally found inner peace.

Dr. Phil proclaimed "The way to achieve inner peace
is to finish all the things you've started."

So I looked around my house to see all the things I
started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the
house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot,
a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's, a
bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder
of both Prozac and Valium prescriptions, the rest of
the cheesecake, some saltines and a box of
chocolates. You have no idea how freaking good
I feel.

Please pass this on to those you feel are in need
of inner peace!!!

************************************

"Ssaay It Aainn't Ssooo!"

This guy who stutters badly, walks into a bar, and says,
"Ssay! Bbbartender, gggimme a bbbeer."

The Bartender, who is badly humpbacked, serves him
a beer and says, "That will be $3.00 please."

The guy thinks that's pretty high priced and says,
"Ddddamn! Ttthat's hhhigh!"

The Bartender says, "Yes, but that's our price."

The guy pays him and drinks it down. He then says,
"Sssay! Bbbartender, gggimme a wwhiskey, ppplease."

The bartender serves him a shot of whiskey and says,
"That will be $8.00, please."

The guy says, "Ddddamn! Ttthat's hhhigh!"

The Bartender says, "Yes, but that's our price."

The guy pays him, drinks his whiskey and, before leaving
says, "Bbbartender, tthanks for nnot mmmaking fffun of
my ssstuttering wwwhile I wwas in hhhere."

The bartender replies, "Oh that's OK. I want to thank you for
not making fun of my humpback while you were in here."

The guy shrugs. "Eeeeverything else in tthis ppplace
wwas so hhhigh, I ttthougt it wwas yyour butt!!!"
Received on Sun Mar 6 02:24:11 2005