Speeding Ticket

"Speeding"

The sheriff of the small Kansas town pulled over a Porsche
that was doing 75 miles per hour in a 35-mile an hour zone.

The man behind the wheel, a Chicago commodities trader,
was steaming. When he was finally brought before the local
magistrate, he exploded, "I can't believe you stopped me.
This town must be the as*hole of the world!"

The magistrate looked at him and replied, "And you must
be what's passing through."

*********************************************

"Speeding Ticket"

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has
the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when
I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think
I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was
putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and
killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her
in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain.
The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain
approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

Driver: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card.
The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can
see if there's a gun in it?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was
told you said there's a body in it.

Driver: No problem.
Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped
you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the
car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a
dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah! I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was
speeding, too.
Received on Fri Jul 1 07:51:56 2005