Definitions To Learn

"Definitions To Learn"

TRAFFIC LIGHT -- apparatus that automatically
turns red when your car approaches.

DIVORCE -- postgraduate in School of Love.

PIONEER -- early American who was lucky enough
to find his way out of the woods.

PEOPLE -- some make things happen, some watch
things happen, and the majority has no idea
what's happened.

SWIMMING POOL -- a mob of people with water
in it.

SELF-CONTROL -- the ability to eat only one
peanut.

SALESMAN -- man with ability to convince wife
she'd look fat in mink.

CANNIBAL -- person who likes to see other people
stewed.

EGOCENTRIC -- a person who believes he is
everything you know you are.

FOREIGN FILM -- any movie shown in Texas theater
that isn't a western.

OPTIMIST -- girl who regards a bulge as a curve.

MAGAZINE -- bunch of printed pages that tell you
what's coming in the next issue.

COLLEGE: The four-year period when parents are
permitted access to the telephone.

EMERGENCY NUMBERS: Police station, fire department
and places that deliver.

OPERA: When a guy gets stabbed in the back and
instead of bleeding he sings.

BUFFET: A French word that means "Get up and get
it yourself."

BABY-SITTER: A teen-ager who must behave like an
adult so that the adults who are out can behave
like teen-agers.

TATTOO: Permanent proof of temporary insanity.
Received on Thu Jan 13 08:55:09 2005