Hospital Bill

"Hospital Bill"

A man was brought to Mercy Hospital, and taken
quickly in for coronary surgery. The operation went
well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness,
he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was
waiting by his bed.

"Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," said the nun,
gently patting his hand. "We do need to know, however,
how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered
by insurance?"

"No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely.

"Can you pay in cash?" persisted the nun.

"I'm afraid I cannot, Sister."

"Well, do you have any close relatives?" the nun essayed.

"Just my sister in New Mexico," he volunteered. "But she's
a humble spinster nun."

"Oh, I must correct you, Mr. Smith. Nuns are not 'spinsters;'
they are married to G~d."

"Wonderful," said Smith. "In that case, please send the bill
to my brother-in-law."

*****************************

Doctor At the Pearly Gates"

Dr. Smith died. When he got to the pearly gates, there
was a very large crowd of people waiting to get into
heaven. Dr. Smith went up to St. Peter and said, "I'm
Dr. Smith, and I want to get in there."

St. Peter told Dr. Smith "Yes...yes...you need to go to
the back of the line."

Dr. Smith became indignant, and said, "You don't
understand...my name is DOCTOR Smith!"

St. Peter again told him that he needed to go to the back
of the line. Angrily, Dr. Smith complied.

Then Dr. Jones died. He went through the same scenario
of going around the crowd and telling St. Peter that he
wanted to enter the gates. As was Dr. Smith, Dr. Jones was
told he needed to go to the back of the line and wait his turn.

"But you don't understand! I am DOCTOR Jones!" He cried.
He was told again to go to the back of the line.

As Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones stood in line commiserating, they
saw another man walk around the crowd and approach St.
Peter. This man was wearing a white lab coat and had a
stethoscope around his neck. He said something to St. Peter,
then entered the gates of heaven. Now Dr. Smith and Dr.
Jones were irate!

"How come he did not have to wait in line?" Dr. Smith bellowed.

A guy further up the line replied "Oh, that's just G~d. He thinks
He's a doctor!"
Received on Wed Jan 12 08:56:08 2005