Experiencing PMS

"Signs Your Wife Or Girlfriend Is Experiencing PMS"

1. She stops reading Cosmo and starts reading Guns and Ammo.

2. She buys $100 worth of chocolate and justifies it by saying
    "But honey, I just know it's one of the major food groups."

3. She puts on one of those pads with "wings," then flies off
    the roof laughing hysterically while riding her broom.

4. She's suddenly developed a new talent for spinning her head
    around in 360 degree circles.

5. She retains more water than Lake Superior.

6. She denies she's in a bad mood as she pops a clip into her
    semiautomatic and "chambers a round."

7. She buys me a new T-shirt with a "bulls eye" on the front.

8. When I ask her to please pass the salt at the dinner table
    and she says, "All I ever do is give, give, give! AM I SUPPOSED
    TO DO EVERYTHING?"

9. She enrolls in the Lizzie Borden School of Charm.

10. She orders 3 Big Macs, 4 large fries, a bucket of Chicken
     McNuggets, and then mauls the manager because they're out
     of Diet Coke.
Received on Mon Jan 10 08:53:04 2005