Working Duck

"The Butcher"

As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees
$10 and a note in its mouth reading: "10 lamb chops,
please."

Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the
dog's mouth, and quickly closes the shop. He follows
the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both
ways, and trot across the road to a bus stop. The dog
checks the timetable and sits on the bench. When a bus
arrives, he walks around to the front and looks at the
number, then boards the bus. The butcher follows,
dumb struck.

As the bus travels out into the suburbs, the dog takes in
the scenery. After awhile he stands on his back paws to
push the "stop" button, then the butcher follows him off.

The dog runs up to a house and drops his bag on the stoop.
He goes back down the path, takes a big run, and throws
himself -Whap!- against the door. He does this again and
again. No answer. So he jumps on a wall, walks around the
garden, beats his head against a window, jumps off, and
waits at the front door. A big guy opens it and starts cursing
and berating the dog.

The butcher runs up screams at the guy: "What the hell
are you doing? This dog's a genius!"

The owner responds, "Genius, my foot. It's the second time
this week he's forgotten his key!!!"

*****************************

"Working Duck"

A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer and a sandwich.

The bartender looks at him and says, "But you're a duck."

"I see your eyes are working," replies the duck.

"And you talk!" exclaims the bartender.

"I see your ears are working," says the duck, "Now can
I have my beer and my sandwich, please?"

"Certainly," says the bartender, "sorry about that, it's just
we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing
round this way?"

"I'm working on the building site across the road,"
explains the duck.

So the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, pays and
leaves. This continues for 2 weeks. Then one day the circus
comes to town. The ringleader of the circus comes into the
pub and the bartender tells him about the incredible talking
duck.

"Marvelous!" says the ringleader, "get him to come see me."

So the next day, the duck comes into the pub. The bartender
says, "Hey, Mr Duck, I lined you up with a top job paying
really good money!"

"Yeah?" says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?"

"At the circus" says the bartender.

"The circus?" the duck enquires.

"That's right," replies the bartender.

"The circus? That place with the big tent? With all the
animals? With the big canvas roof with the hole in the
middle?" asks the duck.

"That's right!" says the bartender.

The duck looks confused and asks: "What the hell do they
want with a plasterer?"
Received on Thu Jan 6 08:50:09 2005