New Year Resolutions 2006

"New Year Resolutions 2006"

As we all prepare to start a new year, it is time
again to make those ever so important New Year's
Resolutions. I have faithfully made such
resolutions in the past, and while I haven't been
able to keep all of them, I have tried my best to
continue making progress on them year after year.
Following is my revised list of ,,,,, "New Year's
Resolutions - 2006 Edition":

Resolution #1
2003: I will try to be a better husband to Marge.
2004: I will not leave Marge.
2005: I will try for reconciliation with Marge.
2006: I will try to be a better husband to Wanda.

Resolution #2
2003: I will stop looking at other women.
2004: I will not get involved with Wanda.
2005: I will not let Wanda pressure me into another
marriage.
2006: I will stop looking at other women.

Resolution #3
2003: I will not let my boss push me around.
2004: I will not let my sadistic boss drive me
to the point of suicide.
2005: I will stick up for my rights when my boss
bullies me.
2006: I will tell Dr. Hodger and the group about
my boss.

Resolution #4
2003: I will read at least 20 good books a year.
2004: I will read at least 10 books a year.
2005: I will read 5 books a year.
2006: I will finish Space.

Resolution #5
2003: I will not get upset when Charlie and Sam
make jokes about my baldness.
2004: I will not get annoyed when Charlie and
Sam kid me about my toupee.
2005: I will not lose my temper when they tell
the guys I wear a girdle.
2006: I will not speak to Charlie and Sam.

Resolution #6
2003: I will get my weight down below 180.
2004: I will watch my calories until I get below
190.
2005: I will follow my new diet religiously until
I get below 200.
2006: I will try to develop a realistic attitude
about my weight.

Resolution #7
2003: I will not take a drink before 5:00 p.m.
2004: I will not touch the bottle before noon.
2005: I will not become a "problem drinker".
2006: I will not miss any AA meetings.

Resolution #8
2003: I will not spend my money frivolously.
2004: I will pay off my bank loan promptly.
2005: I will pay off my bank loans promptly.
2006: I will begin making a strong effort to be
out of debt by 2008.

Resolution #9
2003: I will see my dentist this year.
2004: I will have my cavities filled this year.
2005: I will have my root canal work done this year.
2006: I will get rid of my denture breath this year.

Resolution #10
2003: I will go to church every Sunday.
2004: I will go to church as often as possible.
2005: I will set aside time each day for prayer
and meditation.
2006: I will try to catch the late night sermonette
on TV.
Received on Sat Dec 31 18:29:57 2005