The Price Of Gas

"Lost in Desert"

Two Mexicans, Luis and Pepe, have been
lost in the desert for weeks. At death's door,
they see a tree in the distance. As they get
nearer, they see that it's draped with rasher
upon rasher of bacon: smoked bacon, crispy
bacon, life-giving nearly-raw juicy bacon, all
sorts of bacon.

"Hey, Luis," says Pepe, the first Mexican,
"'Ees a bacon tree! We're saved!!"

So Luis goes on ahead and runs up to
the tree. As he gets to within five feet, he's
gunned down in a hail of bullets.

His friend Pepe drops down on the sand
and calls across to the dying Luis.

"Luis!! Luis!! Que pasa, hombre?"

With his last breath Luis calls out, "Ugh,
run, Pepe! Run, amigo, run! 'Ees not a
bacon tree, 'ees a ham bush!!"

***********************************

"Dog Talk"

The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a
Bulldog are in a doggie bar having a drink when
a very nice looking female Collie comes up to
them and says, "Whoever can say 'liver' and
'cheese' in a best sentence can be my top dog."

So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese."

The Collie says, "Sorry, that's not creative enough."

The Bulldog says, "I don't like liver and cheese,
but I will get it for you anytime."

The Collie says, "Sorry, that's not good enough."

Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone...
cheese mine."

Guess who got to be the top dog?

***********************************

"The Price Of Gas"

Did you hear about the guy in Paris who
almost got away with stealing several
paintings from the Louvre? After planning
the crime, getting in and out past security,
he was captured only two blocks away when
his SUV ran out of gas.

When asked how he could mastermind such
a crime and then make such an obvious error,
he replied: "Monsieur, I had no Monet to buy
Degas to make the Van Gogh!"

And you thought I lacked De Gaulle to send
you a story like this....
Received on Mon Dec 12 06:23:45 2005