I've Learned...

"I've Learned..."

I've learned that you cannot make someone love
you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they
panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care,
some people are just a*sholes.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and
it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about
fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big
willy or huge boobs.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to
others - they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after
you think you're finished.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we
do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy
a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and
there had better be a lot of money to take its place.

I've learned that 99% of the time when something
isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it.

I've learned that the people you care most about in
life are taken from you too soon and all the less
important ones just never go away.
Received on Thu Aug 18 08:37:59 2005