Noise Abatement

"Noise Abatement"

"Flight 1234," the control tower advised, "turn
right 45 degrees for noise abatement."

"Roger," the pilot responded, "but we're at
35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up
here?"

"Sir," the radar man replied, "have you ever
heard the noise a 727 makes when it hits a 747?"

********************************************

"Pre-Flight Check"

After an overnight flight to meet my father at his
latest military assignment, my mother wearily
arrived at Rhein-Main Air Base in Germany with
my eight siblings and me -- all under age 11.

Collecting our many suitcases, the ten of us
entered the cramped customs area.

A young customs official watched our entourage
in disbelief, ''Ma'am,'' he said, ''do all these children
and this luggage belong to you?''

''Yes, sir,'' my mother said with a sigh, ''they're
all mine.''

The customs agent began his interrogation:
''Ma'am, do you have any weapons, contraband
or illegal drugs in your possession?''

''Sir,'' she calmly answered........

''if I'd had any of those items, I would have used
them by now.'
Received on Tue Aug 2 15:50:14 2005