Oneliners III & IV

"Oneliners III"

Rich earn; Smart learn.

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some pretty
good ideas.

Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races
one after another.

The most adorable bride of today will be someone's
mother-in-law in the future.

Punctual people have nothing better to do.

People who want by the yard, but try by the inch,
should be kicked by the foot!

Nothing tastes as good as slim feels.

I wonder if Iraq will repay us for their freedom like
Germany and France have.

Save time . . . see it my way.

The only thing you have to do is breathe; Everything
else is just optional.

People spend their health for wealth . . . then spend
their wealth for health.

Nothing is really work unless you would rather be
doing something else.

Nobody plans to fail, they just fail to plan.

Worry is interest paid in advance for a debt you may
never owe.

Nothing shows a man's character more than what
he laughs at.

Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even
get into my own pants.

The closest some people ever get to a 4.0 in school
is their blood alcohol content.

The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has
absolutely no trade-in value.

If life deals you lemons, make lemonade. If it deals
you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys...but if it deals you
a truckload of hand grenades...now THAT'S a message!!

Every time I walk into a singles bar, I can hear Mom's
wise words: "Don't pick that up!! You don't know where
it's been!!"

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"Oneliners IV"

Zen meditation isn't what you think...

The road to success is marked with many tempting
parking spaces.

Reputation is made in a moment: character is built
in a lifetime.

Where will you be sitting in eternity . . . smoking or
non-smoking?

I went to the Missing Persons Bureau. No one was
there.

Important difference is between keeping your chin up
and sticking your neck out.

The tip you leave now for lunch would have bought
you one twenty years ago.

There's a very wide gap between advice and help.

When you're standing on the edge of a cliff, a step
forward is not progress.

There is no such thing as government money,
only taxpayer money.

Assassins do it from behind.

Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

Upper crust seems to be simply a bunch of crumbs
held together by their own dough.

Make somebody happy today . . . mind your own
business..

When all else fails, read the directions.

Never assume malice for what stupidity can explain.

There's at least one fool in every married couple.

Just because the cops do it, doesn't make it legal or right.

How would we measure hail without golf balls?
Received on Mon Aug 1 08:35:23 2005