I Feel Like...

"At a Bar"

A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well
dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit,
flower in his lapel smelling slightly of a good after
shave, presenting a well looked after image, walks
into an upscale cocktail lounge.

Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady, (mid
eighties). The gentleman walks over, sits along side
of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and
says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"

*********************************

"Hearing Problem"

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems
for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the
doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing
aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The
elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor
and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your
family must be really pleased that you can hear again."

The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've
changed my will three times!"

*********************************

"I Feel Like..."

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were
sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the
other and says . . . "Jim, I'm 83 years old now and
I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're
about my age. How do you feel?"

Jim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."

"Really!? Like a new-born baby!?"

"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."
Received on Fri Apr 15 06:09:14 2005