Blonde Suicide

"Ding Ring Blonde"

Passing an office building late one night, a blonde saw
a sign that said, "Press bell for night watchman."

She did so, and after several minutes she heard the
watchman clomping down the stairs.

The uniformed man proceeded to unlock first one gate,
then another, shut down the alarm system, and finally
made his way through the revolving door.

"Well," he snarled at the blonde, "what do you want?"

"I just wanted to know why you can't ring it for yourself."

************************************

"Blonde Suicide"

A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one
night with the tip of her index finger shot off.

"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor
asked her.

"Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.

"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit
suicide by shooting your finger off?"

"No silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my
chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these
breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest."

"So then?" asked the doctor.

"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just
paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not
shooting myself in the mouth."

"So then?"

"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going
to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear
before I pulled the trigger."
Received on Thu Oct 14 02:37:08 2004