Mafia Bookkeeper

"Lawyer Tidbits"

It was soooo cold last winter (How Cold Was It!) that
I saw a lawyer with his hands in his OWN pockets!

Q. Say that you're trapped in a room with a tiger, a
rattlesnake and an attorney. You have a gun, but
only two bullets. What should you do?
A. Shoot the attorney. Twice.

The "Lawyers Creed": A man is innocent until proven
broke.

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"Mafia Bookkeeper"

A Mafia Boss finds out that his bookkeeper has
screwed him for ten million bucks. The bookkeeper
is deaf. It was considered an occupational benefit
and the reason he got the job in the first place. It
was assumed that since a deaf bookkeeper would
not be able to hear anything he'd never have to
testify in court.

When the Boss goes to shake down the bookkeeper
about his missing $10 million bucks, he brings along
his attorney, who knows sign language. The Boss
asks the bookkeeper: "Where is the 10 million bucks
you embezzled from me?"

The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper
where the 10 million dollars is hidden.

The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you're
talking about."

The attorney tells the Boss: "He says he doesn't know
what you're talking about."

That's when the Boss pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it
to the bookkeeper's temple, cocks it, and says: "Ask
him again!"

The attorney signs to the underling: "He'll kill you for
sure if you don't tell him!"

The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money
is in a brown briefcase,
buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard
in Queens!"

The Boss asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?"

The attorney replies: "He says you don't have it in you
to pull the trigger."
Received on Tue Mar 16 09:38:53 2004