New Drugs for Men

"New Drugs for Men"

With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a
whole line of drugs oriented towards improving
the performance of men in today's society.

DIRECTRA - A dose of this drug given to men
before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of
them to stop and ask for directions when they got
lost, compared to a control group where only 0.2
percent asked for directions.

PROJECTRA - Men given this experimental new
drug were far more likely to actually finish a
household repair project before starting a new one.

CHILDAGRA - Men taking this drug reported a sudden,
overwhelming urge to perform more child-care tasks
-- especially cleaning up spills and little accidents.

COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical trials, 82 percent of
middle-aged men administered this drug noticed
that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being
tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new
clothing.

BUYAGRA - Married and otherwise attached men
reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties
expensive jewelry and gifts after taking this drug
for only two days. Still to be seen: whether the
drug can be continued for a period longer than your
favorites store's return limit.

NEGA-VIGRA - Has the exact opposite effect of
Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical trials on sitting
U.S. presidents.

NEGA-SPORTAGRA - This drug had the strange
effect of making men want to turn off televised
sports and actually converse with other family
members.

CAPAGRA - Caused test subjects to become
uncharacteristically fastidious about lowering toilet
seats and replacing toothpaste caps. Subjects on
higher doses were seen dusting furniture.

PRYAGRA - About to fail its clinical trial, this drug
gave men in the test group an irresistible urge to
dig into the personal affairs of other people. Note:
Apparent over-dose turned three test subjects into
special prosecutors.

LIAGRA - This drug causes men to be less than
truthful when they are asked about their sexual
affairs. Will be available in Regular, Grand Jury
and Presidential Strength versions.
Received on Thu Mar 11 13:45:01 2004