Why I Didn't Show Up For Work

"New Order"

A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount
of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor
noticed that the previous bill hadn't been paid. The
collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying,
"We can't ship your new order until you pay for the last one."

The next day the collections manager received a collect
phone call, "Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long."

*************************

"Why I Didn't Show Up For Work"

I had twelve bottles of whisky in my cellar, and was told
by my wife to empty the contents of each bottle down the
sink or else. So I said I would, and proceeded with the
unpleasant task.

I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the
contents down the drain with the exception of one glass,
which I drank. I extracted the cork from the second bottle
and did likewise, with the exception of one glass, which
I drank.

I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured
the whiskey down the sink, with the exception of one glass,
which I drank. I pulled the cork from the fourth sink and
poured the bottle down the glass which I drank; pulled the
bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it
and threw the rest down the glass. I pulled the sink out of the
next glass and poured the cork from the bottle.

Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drank and
drinked the pour. When I had every one emptied, I steadied
the house with one hand, counted the bottles, corks, and
glasses, and sinks with the other, which were 29, and as
the house came by I counted them again and finally had all
the houses in one bottle which I drank.

I was not under tho alcofluence of incohol, as some theople
pink I was.

I was not as thunk as you might drink. I felt so feelish, I didn't
know who was me, and the drunker I stood thero the longer I got.
Received on Mon Jun 21 10:00:49 2004