The Truth Will Set You Free

"Baby with No Ears"

Little Johnny's next door neighbor had a baby. Unfortunately
the baby was born with no ears. When they arrived home
from the hospital, the new parents invited Little Johnny's
family over to see the new baby.

Little Johnny's parents were very afraid their son would have
a wise crack to say about the baby. So, Little Johnny's dad
had a long talk with Little Johnny before going to the neighbors.
He said, "Now son, that poor baby was born without any ears.
I want you to be on your best behavior and not say one word
about his ears, or you're going to get it when we get back
home."

"I promise not to mention his ears at all," said Little Johnny.

At the neighbors home Little Johnny leaned over the crib and
touched the baby's hand. He looked at it's mother and said,
"Oh what a beautiful little baby!" The mother, who had braced
herself for Johnny's comment, was pleasantly surprised and
said, "Thank you very much Little Johnny."

He then said, "This baby has perfect little hands, and perfect
little feet. Why just look at his pretty little eyes...Did the doctor say
he can see good?"

The mother said a bit bewildered, "Why yes...the doctor said he
has 20/20 vision, why do you ask?"

Little Johnny said, "Well, it's a darn good thing, 'cause he sure
as hell can't wear glasses!!"

**********************************

"The Truth Will Set You Free"

At school Little Johnny was told by a classmate that
most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and
that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by
saying, "I know the whole truth."

Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. He
goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says,
"I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him
$20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."

Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home
from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole
truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says,
"Please don't say a word to your mother."

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next
day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy
greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth."

The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms,
and says, "Then come give your real father a big hug."
Received on Tue Jul 6 07:52:00 2004