Duel

"The Mushroom Sauce"

Years ago while attending a dinner party hosted by some friends
of mine the hostess served a meal with this delicious mushroom
sauce. After the meal there was a small amount left over and the
hostess decided to allow her pregnant cat to enjoy the treat as
well as the guests. The guests all felt it was a great gesture and
showed the cat was a member of the family.

The sauce was the highlight of the evenings topic of conversation,
everyone commented on how delicious it was, and the hostess
beamed at all the compliments. One of the guest commented that
toadstools were much like mushrooms except for being toxic, and
how funny it would be is such a culinary treat were made from that
instead.

As if on cue, the pet cat started crying and squirming on the floor,
clutching its belly. The hostess exclaimed, "Oh my G~d, it's the
mushroom sauce!"

We all went to the emergency room in a mad rush, and had our
stomachs pumped after telling them we had eaten poisonous
mushrooms. This was an extremely unpleasant experience.

We we got back, the cat was lying on the floor peacefully
looking up at us, and licking her newborn kittens.

************************************

"Duel"

In bygone days, a thin man insulted a fat man. The fat
man challenged his tormentor to a duel with pistols.

On the day of the duel a debate ensued about the unfair
advantage held by the thin man because he was a much
smaller target. Finally the thin man came up with a solution.

"Let the outline of my figure be chalked upon your body,"
he said to his opponent, "and any shots of mine that hit
outside the chalk lines, we won't count."
Received on Sun Jan 4 02:58:18 2004